the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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