he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
