i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
