U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
