That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
