I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
