is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
