Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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