they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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