does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
