I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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