i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
