We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sobbing to NWA
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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