So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
