You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
