Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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