I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
