can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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