I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
