um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.