their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
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I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
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We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.