Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Someone came in the potted fern
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night