if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.