yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question