Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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