am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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