you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
