remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Damn victory sex feels great
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