I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize