It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sext me about skeletons
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
