I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
