I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
