3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
