omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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