I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!