and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Some milfs here doing some blow
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried