im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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