I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just want to make out with him forever
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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