i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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