I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
