Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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