Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
