The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
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Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
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I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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