HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
birth control should be required to get into college
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
