cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize