lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
