whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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