Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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