You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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