Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
