is wine microwaveable?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize