Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
