Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize