Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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