I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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