I wanna bring you to show and tell
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
