we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
