I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
