Banned from zoo.
Again?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
