go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
